I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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