So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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