I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
