Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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