he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
