I am in a vortex of obligation.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
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