I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We left the knife in your bed.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
