I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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