They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize