Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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