maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
