i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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