We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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