Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Found your dick twin last night
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.