My balls are so social today.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.