Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.