No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra