did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..