Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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