he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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