yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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