Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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