Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
