Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
