i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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