and i looked up. we had an audience...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
