how can u be prego again
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She's the barista slut.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
