Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
