thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
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