chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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