just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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