i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were trust falling into bushes
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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