Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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