She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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