He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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