My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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