i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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