maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
