yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
