I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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