put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
