i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
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I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
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Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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