I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
