Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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