This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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