That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Do vagina's smell?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
