We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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