haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
