i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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