it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
