I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize