i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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