I forgot how hot balto sounded
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
