This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
