RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will be naked everywhere
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
