Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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