I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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