Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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