so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
