yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
