When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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