I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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