your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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