I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
