he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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