I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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