Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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