It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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